The Journey Begins: Independence and Adventure
I’m a traveler. I take pride in being able to find my way anywhere on earth. I love my independence, my ability to connect to people, and have the life of my dreams. Now I find myself in Israel—opening to a new love. I’ve done this before: moving to a new place, language, and culture for someone who deeply touches my heart. Back then, I tried my best to keep up the image of a capable, independent, strong woman.
Breaking Old Patterns: Embracing Vulnerability
This time, I don’t want to go down that path. I don’t want to forget the breakthroughs I had at previous T&Ps. The most transformative moments were those when I couldn’t show up the way I felt I should—when I revealed my struggle and pain and was met with appreciation, respect, and support.
The Challenge of Authenticity Abroad
I try to do it now, every time I get jealous, feel unsure or lost. It’s not so easy to regulate without friends, habits, or a network to fall back on. How I feel depends a lot on how we are together. Of course, I could do what I trained for many years: focus on something I like and build the image that everything is just as I want it to be.
Fears and Courage: Letting Go of Perfection
I am scared to lose the abilities that come with being that strong, independent woman. It takes overcoming myself every time I show that I feel insecure, anxious about not finding my way in a group or event in Hebrew, afraid that his love for me will disappear if I don’t hold up the image I have of the best version of myself.
Expanding Love Through Vulnerability
And yet, every time I find the courage to overcome my shame and really show myself, it ends up bringing us closer. Expanding the space our love can inhabit, the trust that all of my parts are welcome. And so they come, they love, they play. New pathways into relating open up and I feel that I am more than what I ever was before…
…
By Inge Veldscholten, organiser of T&P Cologne 2026.
ABOUT TOUCH&PLAY
“Leave your relationships more beautiful than you found them.”
Join the T&P Movement — register for the newsletter.
